Southern Redneck vs. Gangsta Thug Part 1: Intro and Redneck Warrior Profile

   This was my first ever matchup, posted in December of 2010. Upon seeing many great matches on the spike forums, I decided to have a go at it myself. It took a long while, but I managed to put out a decent product. Looking back, though, I also saw that there are many things that could be improved, especially in terms of research. With that in mind, I am rereleasing my first simulation as a sort of "director's cut." Enjoy!

DW Showdown Match 1:Urban Gangsta Thug vs. Good ‘ol Redneck!

Introduction

*Cool intro music by Ratt*

Throughout the history of American pop culture, there have been two conflicting archetypes that have symbolized the ideal man….the fact that they are the thug and the hillbilly may show us where our culture has gone wrong. From MTV's glorifying of the street life to the prevalence of country music on radio and television and even the popularity of NASCAR, the influences of these two diametrically opposed cultural warriors are all around us.


This match is about more than that, though; it’s about two different ways of going about life and two different codes of conduct that are in direct conflict. It’s about country versus rap, the free range versus the slumlord, the family versus the set. Like all warriors, though, they do share some sorts of connections-devotion to loved ones, integrity to their ways of life, and above all an ability to fight. These two could plausibly fight today, and they probably would if they ever  got near each other, so it is even more intriguing to simulate a fight on equal terms. This clash of cultural warriors is not only personal for these two- it's for the soul of America!

Battle Details:

   For this battle I will use a modified version of the grading system developed by iHonk and afanofsparta. It differs from the show in that instead of just comparing the warriors' weapons, factors such as armor, tactics, and organization are taken into account.
    Each category will feature data from both sides, and points will be assigned to both warriors, with the warrior with the edge in his category recieving more points. To ensure the winner isn't revealed before the simulation, the points allotted will be shown in the aftermath. However, the warrior with the "edge" in his category will get more points for his side than the opponent. The categories will be weighted differently; for example the long range weapons (guns) will count more points torwards the final score than the knives.

With that in mind, the categories will be:

• Close Range Weapons: Melee weapons effective at arm's length. /15
• Mid Range Weapons: Melee weapons effective within 10 feet. /20
• Long Range Weapons: Projectiles effective within 100 yards. /100 (2 weapons)
• Super Long Range Weapons: Projectiles effective at greater than 100 yards. /50
• Special Weapons: These are unique weapons and explosives. /40
• Support Weapons (New Category): Those that don't kill, but affect the battle nonetheless. /30
• Armor and Mobility: Protection used to stop damage. Mobility and blocking are also taken into account here. /60
• Tactics and Organization: The strategies the warriors apply to fighting and how effective they are at coordination. /30
• Training and Experience: How often they train and fight, their martial arts, and their record against opponents. The strength of their opponents is also considered here. /40
• Rules, Motivation, and Leadership: These are the reasons the warriors have to fight, how effective their leadership is, and how willing the warriors would be to flee from the battle. /30

Without further ado, let's meet our first contender, someone manlier, smellier, and awesomer then you could ever hope to be, the legendary Southern Redneck!

Contender 1: The Hillbilly Redneck!

The Embodiment of the All-American Man.

*Authentic Redneck Music*

INTRO:  The redneck is the symbol of Southern pop culture and of the heartbeat of America. He arose out of the Southern rebel experience and was finely honed by poverty and the farm into the gas-guzzling, SPAM eating, proud good ‘ol boy of today. He lives for his farm, a cold beer, and Lynyrd Skynyrd. In general, rednecks are fiercely independent, resourceful, and defensive of their way of life.


Years of hunting and barroom brawls mean that he knows how to fight as well, since living in the backcountry often means taking the law into one’s own hands. As someone famously put it, they “cling to guns and religion”, and anyone who tries to take these away often end up going down a one way crik, so to speak… These qualities make the Southern Redneck a fierce opponent, one who has been making moonshine, swearing profusely, and firing guns into the air for hundreds of years now.






Redneck Tools of the Trade

Close Range: Bowie Knife

A hillbilly, by necessity, needs a big knife to skin game and settle fights at the bar. Though not formally trained, a hillbilly with a knife is a sure bet in any fight not involving a gun. Unlike a gun, the Bowie knife can be quickly drawn and used without needing to aim, activate a safety, or create noise. Though by no means the only knife backcountry folk use, the Bowie knife is the most popular.

Invented in the 1830s South by pioneer Jim Bowie (who fought at the Alamo), the so-called "Arkansas Toothpick" was the definitive symbol of the South in the antebellum period. Though outclassed by other weapons in the Civil War, the knife continued to be popular and is now a pop-culture icon. As shown on "Deadliest Warrior" in the James episode, it can also be thrown although this is a strictly last-resort measure because it is not really made for this purpose. Instead, its huge blade is more adept at inflicting deep lacerations on an opponent. The trick for using a Bowie knife is to fake out the opponent and use the knife's superior power to disable him with one blow.

Bowie Knife Fighting Techniques:
Detailing how to attack and maneuver with a large knife.

Mid Range: Military Saber

Many rednecks have experience in the military, and some still know how to use their swords. Often a former Marine or someone with a Confederate ancestor has one of these proudly displayed over the fireplace, and they will sometimes be used to defend home and family. Southern Rednecks generally have long family histories, and they highly value service in the military because it helps them gain job opportunities, drinking buddies, and skills in fighting with guns and knives.
At 35 inches, the cavalry saber originated in the Middle East as the preferred weapon of the Mamluks controlling the region. Visiting Europeans were so impressed with the curved blade that they made it a standard-issue cavalry weapon until World War I.  is a slashing weapon can easily cut limbs off or pierce fabric armor such as kevlar. Indeed, the Napoleonic French were hated by their opponents who said that they didn't fight fair, using their sabers to inflict fatal piercing wounds. Sabers are still issued to soldiers today, although mainly as ceremonial weapons. Still, many thousands exist and Rednecks prefer this type of sword over all others for its history.

U.S. Model 1860 Cavalry Saber:

 I know Cold Steel swords are crap, but this is the best video I found.

Long Range Pistol: .38 Special Revolver

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  In the backcountry of the South, a compact, reliable pistol has always been a major priority to have as a means of protection. Revolvers are both of these, and to a people as resistant to technological change as Rednecks a good old fashioned revolver is trusted as a constant companion. The .38 Special round has a long history as a pistol caliber, originally being developed to take down charging Filipino warriors. Since then, it was used as the primary caliber of law enforcement until the 1990s, at which time it was replaced with higher-capacity 9mm automatics. 

 The .38 Special round, ballistically speaking, travels slower than the 9mm but has a higher weight.Thus, it's slightly better at taking down unarmored foes but it is more easily stopped by kevlar and vehicle armor. The .38 Special revolver was a great weapon for many years, but its weaknesses were finally exposed in the North Hollywood Bank Robbery of 1997. There, police using the .38 Special were no match for the robbers, who had body armor and high-capacity weapons. This incident  brought about the common usage of the Glock type weapons police normally carry today. However, even though it is no longer used by police, the .38 Special Revolver enjoys widespread usage among civilians who appreciate the solid feel and compact shape of the weapon.

 SW .38 Special Revolver
Double action, 7 round capacity. 

Long Range Shotgun: Remington M1894 10 ga. Shotgun

            The shotgun has been a mainstay of country life since the 1800s, and has a comfortable door nook in every Southern country home. This specific shotgun, the Remington m1894, introduced several new innovations to an already very intimidating weapon. Most notable was its new hammerless design. This new mechanism meant that when fired the shotgun didn't produce sparks or a flash with exposed hammers. The hammerless design made the weapon more reliable as well, since internalizing the mechanism made it resistant to wetness. The barrels, at 30 inches long, make the weapon slightly unwieldly but they also add much-needed accuracy to the weapon. The 10-gauge buckshot shells are more powerful than today's average shotguns, and hark back to a time when these weapons needed to have big loads in order to take down animal or human opponents.

Though the weapon's design is quite old, it has aged well and copies as well as original firearms of this type can be easily found today. Many families in the backcountry have a shotgun of this type, and often like the swords they are passed down over the generations. Even more effective than the weapon, arguably, are the stories associated with these guns, tales of daring told from father to son. As to the weapon itself, the Remington m1894 is extremely powerful when it hits but also heavy to carry around and hindered by a low ammo capacity.                      

10 Gauge Double Barrel Shotgun
Shot by a true redneck himself... the power of the weapon is awe-inspiring

Super Long Range: Savage Arms Model 11 .223

Rednecks of all types are avid hunters, and one thing in common with hunters is that they need a good, accurate, reliable rifle to shoot with. The Savage Arms Model 11 combines a traditional bolt action mechanism with a modern composite design. Firearms laws differ between states, but in general for hunting, rifles cannot give the hunter a unfair advantage over the prey animal. Thus, assault rifles and semi-autos are frowned upon which means the bolt-action is the rifle of choice for sportsmen.

Though hunters can use a variety of calibers, one of the most popular is the Remington .223 as it is based of of the 5.56 NATO assault rifle round. This round is very accurate, but it is light and some soldiers say that it lacks the stopping power needed to take down a determined jihadist or other opponent. Regardless of this, the round is popular because it is easily available, it has a light recoil, and it is familiar to hunters and military veterans alike. Hunters usually use scopes with their weapons to increase the range advantage of their weapons, and stealth plays a large part in using this weapon successfully. Without it,  within ranges of closer than 300 yards the sniper will be taken down by faster-firing shotguns and pistols. Rednecks know very well how to use these weapons to maximum benefit, and their experience at taking down big game lets them know how to aim and ambush with these rifles.

Savage Model 11 .223 at 200 Yards
No, that kid is not me...

Special Weapon: Illegal Fireworks!

Anyone who has been to a hillbilly fair knows that there is often firework-related mischief involved. Explosive fireworks are legal in only about half of the U.S., and they cause grievous injuries and deaths every year. People buy them, however, because they are so much fun to blow up. Illegal fireworks is a huge business, and most rednecks don't care about petty laws in their areas (see: moonshine). 

Illegal fireworks are often more dangerous than their legal counterparts, and they can always be combined  in order to form larger explosions. Furthermore, rockets also exist which can be launched at enemies, causing severe burns as well as distractions.  The disadvantages of fireworks are numerous, often involving the problems inherent with fuses and the carrying of  volatile explosives, but they are also clearly capable of destruction when used in proficient (not proficient?) hands. Besides, if they win the rednecks can have one hell of a celebration!

The Dangers of Fireworks

Keep in mind that illegal fireworks can be much more powerful...

Support Weapon: Decoys

 A support weapon is one that doesn't necessarily kill by itself but affects the enemy in other ways, such as through distraction or hinderance. I believe that in the show these weapons (such as the black egg and poison spit) aren't taken seriously because they are compared to killing weapons. However, they can be very effective by contributing to the kills of other weapons. With that in mind, I am debuting this new category to properly analyze these types of support weapons.

 The support weapon that the Southern Redneck brings to the game is another carryover from his hunting experiences. In these situations, decoys are critical for luring prey into position to be ambushed. Humans are a bit smarter than deer and geese, however, so in these situations decoys are used in more of a distraction role. The best example I can give of this is from the Sun Tzu vs. Vlad fight when Sun effectively uses a decoy to gain the upper hand. In tense gunfights against twitchy opponents, even a momentary lapse of focus induced by a a flying or disguised decoy can turn the tide of a battle by revealing enemy positions or distracting them long enough to be dispatched. Though it is quite a leap from animals to human opponents, it seems very plausible that rednecks as experienced hunters can use the art of distraction to their advantage.

Sun Tzu vs. Vlad the Impaler
Fast forward to 1:05 to see how the decoy is used. Sun tricks Vlad and forces him into an unfavorable situation by making Vlad give away his position and setting him up for an ambush.. Also take note of Sun hiding in trees and stalking-also the crafts of the hunter. 

Armor: Camo Jacket and Flannel Shirts w/ Denim Pants 

Rednecks, in general, emphasize comfort over style in their clothing choices. Their ancestors chose to fight like the Native Americans they encountered, hiding behind trees and emphasizing surprise and mobility over defense. Since usually the worst things they have to contend with are thorn bushes, armor doesn't rank highly on their list of priorities. The toughest things they will wear are camouflage jackets when they go out hunting. These jackets are usually made with thick, waterproof canvas giving good protection against the elements. They may be able to stop small knives and other slashing weapons, but where these coats are very useful is for blending into the environment. If one isn't seen, then he can hide and ambush his quarry, which is the general idea with hunting.

Of course, rednecks aren't always hunting, and at work or on the town they prefer denim and flannel shirts or t-shirts with trashy messages on them. Made by five-year-olds in Vietnam, these give pretty much no protection whatsoever but they help the hillbilly look the part.
In terms of Mobility, it's a mixed bag for the Redneck. Some are very physical and are in great shape, while others drink too much beer and stay on the couch. They are generally strong, burly men who make their livings through blue-collar work. Thus, they are accustomed to carrying lots of equipment around.

Tactics and Organization: hunting ambushes, mainly defensive, wild charges if cover is blown, drinking buddies, basic coordination

      As noted earlier, Southerners have always been fiercely protective of their way of life. A popular saying is that a Southerner will be polite until he is mad enough to kill you. Rednecks are used to camping out in the woods for long periods, living off the land and stalking big game. Terrain has always been a major factor in Redneck warfare; indeed, one of the very first Southern battles, at Kings Mountain, was won by Southern patriots who used the high ground and ambushed the British. As hunters, rednecks will typically lie in wait and attempt to get a ranged kill with the hunting rifle. However, when their cover is blown they will not hesitate to recklessly charge at the enemy. 

Redneck culture is intensely loyal, and many country folk socialize with the same people all of their lives. Thus, they know intimately how their friends think, and they know their drinking buddies will always be available to back them up. Though by no means are the Rednecks a well-oiled team, they can be counted on to at least help each other out by providing cover fire and coordinating their movements.



Training and Experience: Hunting, Shooting range practice, Bar Fights, Vigilante Justice, Police Duty, Military Service, Hard Labor. Quality of Opponents: Low to Medium

As you can see, the Hillbilly's sources of training and experience are quite eclectic. They have done pretty much every high-risk job out there, so training is largely piecemeal and it varies widely by the individual. In general, they personally own firearms and as such have the basic training needed to use them. This can mean shooting range practice, law enforcement experience, or even military service. Also in general, the backcountry is slightly looser in terms of law enforcement and "real men" can choose to settle their fights informally if need be. Often this happens at a tavern and is associated with liquor consumption.

 Probably the closest thing to actual fighting most Rednecks have done is hunting, and that is why I put the emphasis on that area. Hunting teaches stealth, proper aiming, gun care, team coordination, baiting, and various other skills. Since Rednecks outside of police and the military don't fight many real opponents, their actual combat experience may be low. This is countered, however, by the aforementioned skills of hunting and the bravery to protect one's home.

Rules, Motivation, and Leadership: Cordial until Provoked, a Man's Home is His Castle, Loosely Bound Natural Leadership

 The Redneck's loyalty to his home and family cannot be overstated- it's probably the biggest influence in his life except religion. As the men above and below pleasantly demonstrate, they will fight to the bitter end to preserve their way of life and attackers will either be shot now or be shot later. Perhaps this is a simplistic view of the Redneck's motivations, but these are his motivations to fight and that is what we are concerned about here. Simply put, if challenged I could see the Redneck squad broken up or confused by the  Big Time Hustlas,  but there is no chance at all  that they would simply run away and forfeit the battle. They are fighting to protect their turf, and the Gangstas will have to pry the guns out of their cold, dead fingers. 

Southern folk are normally very courteous, but if their homes are threatened all rules go out the window and they won't hesitate to use vigilante justice. Therefore rules won't hinder them in the fight. In terms of Leadership, Rednecks are quite loosely organized. Like high school cliques, they form intimate social groups where natural leaders typically emerge. The bad part about this is that not everyone in the Hillbilly group will agree on a strategy every time. The good part of this is that each man can think for himself and if the leader goes down another one can take his place.

Whew! That was a lot of information put together in a short period of time. I'm going to take a day or two off to let you absorb all of this, and then I will return to present the profile of the Redneck's challenger, the low-ridin', b****-slappin', crack-dealin', hood-rappin', one and only Urban Gangsta Thug! Holla Back!